I’m proud to serve our benevolent leaders

Special K not feeling so special with Musk

A mushroom overlord sounds like a fungi

Not if you eat them first!

I wish I could eat my puppies and have their scruffy faces and waggy tails with me all the time! Petting them would be difficult…

A WHAT-itive verb?!?

-shits out a new Executive Order-

Charles and David have run fundraising/seminars

David hasn’t been participating as much these past few years.

The gatherings were characterized by great secrecy

David’s GREAT at keeping secrets now!

The Night of the Long Knives would like to have a word with you

What are you doing, Susan??? You’re supposed to say something about him learning his lesson just before he proves that he didn’t learn his lesson

Burn it! Burn it! Burn it!

I needed it. Now I can buy more eggs! And my children un-hate me! It was DEI’s fault

His poor brain worm starved to death years ago

Biden! The deep state! BLM!

… again

Whoops, I’m suddenly bleeding

Good thing I don’t have any guns. Just these two asthmatic dogs that cough really loudly right before the Nazi in front of them takes a sudden nap.

Please provide a demonstration or two

I’m excited to see the new Bill of Right!

\2. Get guns and do our work for us

“I’m gonna tax the shit out of my own people until Putin impregnates my butt!”

Well, don’t go moving to Kentucky just to spite some racists. There are other, more reasonable actions you can take. Such as stealing their cats and dogs and giving those pets a better life and then training those pets to pee on pictures of their old owners and then sending videos of it to the Kentucky KKK.

I’m so glad you commented this. Yes, great article with a terrible headline