As a non-american, you’re doing about okay as everyone else.

His name was Derek. But he went by ‘the Prophet’ when times were good, or ‘the Law Giver’ when times were bad.

I moved onto his prayer farm with 45 other members of the Salvation Star Boys, who died in a mass suicide. But not me. 'Cause I don’t like root beer. And I only drink what I like.

After it was all over, I called Lois to pick me up. She was mad. But she’s what Derek calls an Oppressing Doubter.

May the light of Derek’s Invincible Diamond shine through you.

I hate conversation hostages. They just dont let you exit, and don’t really care if you’re listening. I can understand their loneliness, but christ they need to develop the skills of: a) summarize your bullshit, and b) gauge my reaction to see if I’m interested.