I’m currently reading The Expanse, and at one point a character mentions checking in on the family aggregator his cousin set up to help everyone keep track of who’s living where.

Dude spun up a private Lemmy instance for his family. The future is now!

Nah, that’s too realistic for The Onion. It needs to be something like, ‘Pandemonium Ensues After Trump Utters First Coherent Sentence.’