Who’s gonna colonize the US and make it liveable first?

Awesome, anything competitive at this point to get off of starlink is welcome.

I still say it this way in my head…

How dare you lob facts at us as if they’re insults…

… I’m pretty sure that’s still 100% accurate, and completely on brand with the powers that be.

God damnit… why does Zapp have to be the Assistant President?

Because everyone hates IPv6?

Why not reuse SSN that are no longer are in service for whatever reason?

The crowd had gathered there to watch him fall, to watch their hopes destroyed

They watched them beat him, they watched them break him, they watched his last defense deployed

There was not a man among them who would let himself be heard

But from the crowd, from their collective fear, arose these broken words:

We are the dead

We are the dead

What have we done? (We are the dead)

What will we do? (We are the dead)

Where will we turn? (We are the dead)

Is there nothing we can do? (We are the dead)

How did it come to this? (We are the dead)

How did we go so wrong? (We are the dead)

We are the dead (We are the dead)

Nah choom, I’m pretty sure Musk was on board.

Por que no los dos?

This one is really testing my patient gamer ethos…

So… would you ignore all of recorded history, and most of anthropological records that dictate humanity has always been in a race to find new and exciting ways to kill each other?

As opposed to…who exactly? That one tribe in the sentinel Islands that hasn’t been contacted by modern civilization yet?

Nah… was made to monitor a coffee pot

[Scene opens on a wide, desolate savanna at dusk. The camera slowly pans over a leopard lying under a tree, its large body barely able to move. The sun is setting, casting a cold, dim light over the scene. Soft wind rustles through the dry grass. The leopard’s eyes are dull, its breathing labored.]

Narrator (soft, somber voice): In the wild, leopards are meant to stalk, to hunt, to climb. But for some, this is no longer possible. These are the leopards of the forgotten savanna… the ones who can no longer live the life they were born to lead.

[Cut to a close-up of another leopard, this one lying next to a watering hole, panting heavily. The camera lingers on its enormous, bloated body, its paws barely able to reach the ground. The leopard’s eyes seem vacant, devoid of the wild spark they once had.]

Narrator: Overfed and unable to move, these leopards have been left to a slow, painful existence. They can no longer hunt their prey, no longer climb the trees to escape danger, no longer feel the thrill of the chase. They are trapped in their own bodies.

[Cue the soft, mournful opening chords of “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan. The camera slowly pans over a third leopard, sluggishly trying to rise, but its massive weight prevents it from standing. It lets out a heavy sigh, its once-strong legs buckling beneath it.]

Narrator: They are the forgotten victims of a world that has abandoned them. Too fat to run, too weak to fight… These leopards are slowly fading, one breath at a time. They need your help.

[Cut to a shot of a leopard staring out over the savanna. The camera lingers on its face, eyes half-closed, its expression one of quiet resignation.]

Narrator: For just $3 a day, you can provide the care and support these leopards so desperately need. A donation will help give them the chance to live a life of dignity. Help them find their way back to the wild they were meant to roam.

[The music swells as the camera fades to black, and the words “Your donation can make a difference” appear in white text on the screen.]

Narrator (whispering): Please, don’t let them suffer in silence. The time to act is now.

[The music fades out, and the SPCA logo appears in the corner, along with a toll-free number and website for donations.]