FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
GE Unveils Revolutionary Coal-Powered Refrigerator: A Symbol of American Energy Independence and Patriotism
St. Louis, MO - GE Appliances & Services Holding Co., Inc. is proud to announce its latest innovation in home appliances: the Coal-Burner 5000, a groundbreaking refrigerator powered entirely by clean-burning coal from the rich deposits of West Virginia.
This pioneering appliance breaks free from the shackles of restrictive energy mandates and offers consumers a taste of American energy independence, reminiscent of the great coal mining traditions that have fueled our nation’s growth for centuries. The Coal-Burner 5000 not only reduces reliance on foreign oil but also provides a reliable source of energy with negligible emissions, thanks to advanced pollution-reducing technology.
“We’re thrilled to introduce this game-changing product that embodies the values of hard work, self-sufficiency, and patriotism that have always defined America,” said an GE spokesperson. “The Coal-Burner 5000 is a shining example of American ingenuity and our commitment to powering homes with cleaner, more reliable energy.”
Key features of the Coal-Burner 5000 include:
Direct coal-fired power generation for efficient cooling Innovative compression cycle design that minimizes pollutant emissions West Virginia-sourced coal, proudly supporting local economies Made in America, proud and loud “We’re not just selling an appliance; we’re selling a way of life,” said the spokesperson. “The Coal-Burner 5000 is more than just a refrigerator - it’s a symbol of our nation’s unwavering dedication to its values.”
Available now at fine retailers nationwide, the GE Coal-Burner 5000 promises to bring the warmth and comfort of home to your kitchen, all while proudly representing American energy leadership.
Not agreeing that what they are doing is right, but some of the ways appliance manufacturers earn their badge is lame. Like dishwashers dropping their electric drying/heating element, to just sponge off the hot water heater’s energy usage, and claim they are thusly more green. Or how washing machines have some kind of energy reduction operation now but they can’t drain completely which requires an energy-using rotation cycle when not doing laundry to encourage evaporation.
You don’t push for the dismantling of the platform if you have an issue, you push for reform.
I really do want more efficient appliances. Why would I want something that uses more of a resource, but cost less?
What sane fucking person thinks any of this would cost less?
Oh it’s not your decision to make
Nothings more murican than your fridge consuming more power than an entire european village, oorah!
What the fuck man…
“Lower prices”: Prices won’t go down
“Consumer choice”: This is the mantra of all corporate lobbyists. No consumer asked for this. Meanwhile they are putting tariffs on imports thus restricting consumer choice.
Fuck them.
Show me a business that actually wants MORE waste and less efficiency? I thought the republicans were all about “business can do it better”. Really?
are you serious? business dont give a fuck about waste. look at the plastics industry. lightbulbs were another historic example of something being made less efficient so that it made more money
The life duration of a light bulb depends on the thickness of the filament. If you make it thicker the lifetime goes up, but at the same time the brightness goes down. This means you spend more money on power for less light output. Look at this lightbulb that burns for 100 years or so in some fire station, it’s hardly brighter than a candle.
lightbulbs were another historic example of something being made less efficient so that it made more money
I think this was more about brightness of the bulbs. There are other examples of planned obsolescence. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen.
Didn’t you hear? Trump said plastics aren’t a concern because they don’t bother sharks as they’re munching through the ocean. So you can scratch that off the list of things worth mentioning. /s
Waste on THEIR end. Not talking about consumer waste. You already paid for it isn’t considered waste on their end. I’m talking about things like production inefficiencies, etc.
so because you paid for it, the items is magically transformed into something that isnt junk? is it more efficient to have parts of that junk shipped all over the world to be assembled then shipped all over again to be sold?
JFC, these people. Just assholes all the way down.
What utter horse shit. Prices for appliances won’t go down so much as single cent, meanwhile it will cost more to run them. Great job, MAGA fuckwits.
“Hehehehe hahaha uhuhuhu. Yew ahr nahw ohwned, though, aren’t you liberal?” -Every Beavis and Butthead dumbass donvict voter that voted just for the chaos, or the lulz, and/or to watch the world burn.
Lower prices? Best i can do is poison you with a crappy gas stove.
Regression is a top MAGAt priority.
Yeah, but PROGRESS might be progressive! It’s right there in the name!!!
Maybe we should tell them they are working on making themselves progressively worse and they might balk at the idea they are being progressives! The horror!
Yeah but why?
Like seriously, why would you want your appliances to get worse? This is obviously nice for manufacturers, but this obviously is shit for consumers and the environment.
Badically… Who votes for THIS?
Literally no one really wants this on the consumer side. Dumbasses voted for donvict for the racism, the misogyny or just to “own the libs”. More dumbasses sat out “because Gaza” and because the Democrats didn’t give them a pretty, pretty pony and they are going to stamp their feet about it until the Democrats do give them one. A few more for things like economy, because “Republicans dew 'conomy gud” (has that ever actually been true, though?).
Now that the elitists are in power, they are going to do this because they don’t give a flying fuck what the peasants want. Several of the elitists have been openly calling for the END of democracy anyway, so fuck what most people want, they’ll be doing as much as they can get away with, no matter what something silly like polls might indicate…
The manufacturer votes … With their wallets I guess ?
Good thing most appliance manufacturers sell to global markets who still have such standards
The issue I was going to have soon, was going to be the HVAC one. The only way manufacturers have managed to really meet the Biden efficiency standards has been to make the units bigger. I have no space left at all to get a bigger unit in my utility closet. When my almost 20 year old unit goes out, I was going to be kind of screwed. There’s nowhere to put “bigger”. I already have to bend the filter when it’s halfway out just to change it.
But not in Americavafter this. Companies might make products only for the American market.
I’ll just import shit from Canada. IDGAF if it costs a bit more in taxes.
Pretty sure California (one of if not the biggest buyer of everything in the US) can and will still set their own energy efficiency regulations.
It works the other way around too. A place with fewer restrictions becomes a dumping ground for products that don’t meet modern standards.
Here’s an example. When the EU announced the Restriction of Hazardous Substances directive (RoHS), you couldn’t sell electronics that contain lead. However, you could still manufacture them and ship them to China. This means that you could also manufacture energy intensive electric junk in EU and other countries and sell all of it in USA.
Yeah lesser cheaper and probably less safer products
I thought we were in an energy crisis? Ffs
I just keep changing my consumption based on Trump’s twitter feed, it’s been a hell of a ride
I was actually bummed to have to stop eating McDonald’s. It was my go to comfort fast food. Between Trump’s photo op and Luigi, I just can’t support them anymore.
Good luck with your impending hermitage, I guess 🤷
The irony being (some) Hermitages were bankrolled by the rich as decoration. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_hermit
Gotta prevent those windmills from giving you cancer!
The so-called energy crisis is another liberal lie, like climate change, black lives matter, gender, women’s rights, gravity, etc.
Good thing you threw in gravity… For a second there, I thought you were being sarcastic!
Woke DEI gravity. Hold yourself down by your bootstraps!
Ok, but it’s kinda too late for it to have any tangible effect - customers expect appliances to work better and third parties already perform reviews on them
This is mostly meat for morons
Idiocracy gave us too much credit
Lol, they thought it would be a black guy!
they tought he would be open minded to solutions lol
Hmm okay his race is relevant, apparently?
Trump’s race matters. Let this be Obama, he caught hell for a tan suit. Imagine Obama quoting marxist material. They would burn the white house down.
I see what you mean now. Yeah, ironic eh?
Shit I wish we were progressive enough to have a black guy destroy the US
Just in time for expensive ass electricity when you really want your appliances to be using less energy!
ass electricity
Glad my ass runs on gas instead of electric. /j
Its almost like they don’t want people to be able to make informed decisions about things.
edit: obligatory xkcd: https://xkcd.com/37/
Glad my ass runs on gas
Haven’t upgraded to the nuclear fission powered ass?
It runs on enriched microwave burritos and, while safe storage of the byproducts of the process is still an issue, it emits significantly fewer greenhouse gases than your regular gas-powered assn
I don’t recommend ass fissures
Those only happen when you reach critical mass, if you know what I mean 😉
