I got suspended for playing a spoon game at lunch. Didn’t tell my mom went to school the next day anyway

I let a classmate of mine borrow my car. She asked if she could use it to run a quick errand. I was just trying to be nice. I didn’t know her parents had grounded her from driving or that the school had a policy against letting other students use your vehicle. In hindsight it probably wasn’t a smart idea but I was 17 so I didn’t think about it that much.

A simple, “please don’t do that again” would have been more than sufficient but instead I got a two day suspension.

In 2nd grade the teacher had to step out of the room for several minutes and put me in charge. If anyone misbehaved, I was to write their name on the chalkboard. One group of boys did misbehave, so I wrote down their names.

When the teacher returner, she scolded me for “being a snitch” and sent me to the principal’s office.

Rhyming words with pitch. I was in 2nd grade. And I wasn’t trying to get away with saying bitch, it’s just a word that my parents used and it popped into my head.

Girl who sat next to me told.

Kindergarten, in a pencil-sharpening contest with 2 girls. Even though my pencil was clearly sharper, they ganged up on me and said theirs were, vote was 2-1. I exclaimed that “girls are toilets”, which was overheard by the authorities. Spent the rest of the day in timeout.

5th grade music (singing) class. We’re practicing a song for an upcoming assembly. It’s cheesy. An excerpt:

We can fight all the evil, we can fight all the hate
If we do it together, it won’t be too late
If we do it together, it won’t be too late

During the song, two adjacent kids start laughing every time it says “We can do it together” because “do it” = “have sex” even though most of us don’t know what it entails at this age, myself included. The teacher glares at them but does nothing else. Several other kids including me chuckle at the scene. This goes on for 3 weeks.

Now comes the dress rehearsal. Today is special because two 5th grade classes are having a joint rehearsal. All of us are a little giddy because there are double the kids crammed into the same space.

In anticipation of getting caught up in the infectious laughter, as the words “do it” approach I hide my face behind my sheet music. Suddenly, the backing CD track cuts out. I lowered the paper from my face she was already halfway to the clown kid sitting beside me. Except… she comes to me. In this abrupt silence she explodes at me, point blank, index finger brandished:

“YOU NEED TO GROW UP! IT IS NOT ABOUT HAVING SEX!”

She singled me out. I was embarrassed.

Only after class did I learn from my homeroom teacher that the two instigators had recently been given a very stern talking to, such that the music teacher thought it was resolved until my hiding face gave her the impression it was not. Thankfully my homeroom teacher understood and I received no further consequences other than all of this living in my head for the next 30 years and forever.

Grade 3, I was saying “fuh” like the first sound in “fuck” and Katherine told on me for saying “fuck” even though I didn’t say it. Tragically, her story was believed and mine was not. I never forgave her. I also never saw her again after Grade 5, so whatevs.

Reading a book in English class. Had a high school English teacher that was out sick half the time and spent literally all of the remaining time they were actually in to teach us, reading through the assigned novel for the curriculum. (barely 20% of the curriculum overall) I was/am an avid reader so had the novel finished on my own in about a week and a half and got bored of listening to the terrible accents and voices being attempted by the teacher so Brought in my own book from the library and hid that in the cover of the prescribed novel to read. Teacher caught me and sent a letter home to my parents. Absolute nonsense!

In eighth grade, part of being in student council was helping an assigned teacher with various tasks during study hall. Well, when that teacher didn’t have anything for us, my friend and I would go help the librarian with various tasks instead. We were “caught” and given detention (my first and only). So dumb.

Kid I knew ripped the IT dept account and password out of Windows using a boot disk and told a few people including me.

You could use the account to remote access any computer on the network. I used it to set a friend of mine’s desktop background to an image I made of the world’s ugliest dogs. Teacher caught me and I fessed up.

Got yanked into the coordinators office and got a big spiel about how the account could have been used to access exams and reports and whatnot. Surprisingly didn’t get in that much trouble since I didn’t really use my great powers for anything crazy. Had to write a letter of apology to the principal and got detention for a bit and that’s it.

Kid who ripped the password didn’t do any time from what I remember. Don’t think I ratted, or at least I hope not.

I got my first and only detention for skipping the annual school 1.6km run around the local lake to go study in the library.

I got sent to the principal’s office in kindergarten for saying my teacher had big hands after another kid called them “bigfoot” while they were standing on a step-ladder. She apparently was insecure about her massive, gigantic, galactic-sized hands.

For continuously saying “eyyyyy”. TBF it was really annoying, every time I was scolded I’d respond with eyy whoaaa eyyy and it escalated from there. It was pretty funny to see the explanation on the write up without context though.

Farting. I had a teacher who would send kids to the nurse for farting. So, of course, we’d fart as loud as possible and blame it on someone around us. You know, whip your head to the side and say,“Damn, Chris!” They usually got sent to the nurse. This was at least 2-3 times a week. I got blamed enough times that she upped the seriousness and sent me to the principal. Fair enough, I mean, I had gotten more kids sent to the nurse than they got me, and the principal just sort of rolled his eyes and sent me back to class. 7th grade.

Fake-eating an electrical plug. The plug was both not connected to any power - I was “eating” the end that goes into the wall - and also never even close to actually being in my mouth, but the teacher was apparently at just the right angle for it to look convincing and freaked enough that he decided to call my parents and give me lines